What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

How did you get to be a leftist?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How do I build muscle easily with isometrics?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

TEXT:

Why would Joseph Smith say that polygamy was God's law?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How do you know when someone really loves you?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Whenever I write a novel, I struggle with the end, should I make it open? Should the good win or the bad win? Sometime I don't even have an ending, what should I do?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.